Duchess
by LogicBomb.32
Summary: JJ set a New Years Resolution and she finds help from the most unexpected sources.


**Title: Duchess **

**Author: Logicbomb.32 **

She was sitting in her car, hands fingering the ignition, steeling herself to take the keys out and actually exit the safe confines of her car. In here she was safe, in here she could still leave, could still go home. But she knew that she wouldn't be leaving, a promise had been made at the turn of the New Year, a promise to herself, to her son and to her girlfriend, this would be the year they would finally et the dog Henry had been begging for. But in order for that to happen, JJ had made a New Years resolution to work on her fear of dogs. If not for her sake, then her sons.

And that is how she found herself in the parking lot of Peach Tree Animal Adoption Shelter. It had taken a few hours of internet surfing and a couple dozen phone calls to finally find a place that was willing to help her out. But it all hinged on her getting out of the car and she wasn't sure she was ready to do that.

Even from the confines of her Suburban she could hear them, the barking, the yapping, it was all she could do to fight off the flashbacks.

_The barn._

Breathe.

_The growling from the darkness._

Inhale.

Exhale.

_Those eyes, glowing in the darkness. _

Try and breath.

_The impending feeling that they wanted to rip you limb from limb. _

She couldn't breath.

She couldn't focus, torn somewhere between reality and her waking nightmare, Jennifer Jareau didn't notice someone walking towards her car. It was only as someone knocked gently on the glass that JJ was dragged back to reality, one hand flying to her hip and the other wiping the loose strands of hair from her face. It took her a few long, concentrated moments to out herself in a position to open her door and step out into the sunshine "Sorry." The someone apologized "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No." JJ said, shaking her head "It's fine, I needed that." She added, holding out her hand "I'm JJ."

"Casey Moore." The person responded, she looked to be in her late teens with a shock of black hair tied back in a pony tail "We spoke on the phone."

"Right." JJ said, still trying to keep her composure as she locked her car and they started walking towards the shelter "I'm sorry about how I'm acting, I just-" she broke off "It's been a while."

"It's fine." Casey said with a small smile "You said that you wanted to get over oyur fear of dogs?"

JJ let out a short laugh "Yeah, it sounds dumb but my son, he wants a dog and I told him we could."

"Believe it or not you're not the first person to come in here looking to do the same thing." Casey said, pulling open the door and allowing JJ to step in first.

They stepped into a small waiting room type area with scattered chairs and a coffee table immediately in front of them. About halfway across the room there was a waist tall barrier that ran the length of the room. JJ assumed that this was to stop the inevitable run away pup from escaping completely and to keep over eager youngster from doing the same "You can follow me back here." Casey said, nothing JJ's hesitation.

JJ forced herself to keep walking, the sounds of the dogs getting louder and louder as her heart beat faster and faster. Casey turned to face the blond "You can sit here, Jason will be right out."

"Jason?" JJ asked

"Yeah" Casey shrugged "He's the one who does the immersion therapy, started working here about four years ago or so. Used to work for the CIA or something like that but got sick of it. Doesn't talk about it much."

JJ sank down into the chair slowly, using the armrests as support as she forced her emotions down. She wouldn't break down, not out here anyway. Casey vanished behind a white door and as it closed JJ let out a sigh of relief as the barking was muffled slightly.

Her hands were shaking.

God.

She ran her hands down her jeans, hoping the motion would calm her nerves. But it didn't. She closed her eyes, focusing on Emily and on Henry, both of whom were at the D.C. Children's Museum all day today. The memories helped her forget where she was and as a result slowed her pulse. She only opened her eyes when she heard the sound of a door opening and closing. Turning around to see who this person was, she- "Gideon?" she asked, surprised evident in her tone.

Of all the people she had expected to see out here (no one), seeing Jason Gideon after four and a half years , it was a true shock to her system. However she kept her surprise at bay, standing up and shaking his hand "How are you?" he asked, smiling at her.

JJ wasn't sure how she was, seeing Gideon was like seeing a dead man walk and the memories of how his departure had come about also brought back the memories of a distraught Spencer. No one else had seen the tears, the confusion and the pain like she had, but then again Spence trusted her like no one else "I'm-" she broke off, not sure what she was "It's good to see you." She said

It was immensely awkward, the silence that followed and it was finally broken by JJ asking "How'd you end up here?

Gideon sighed "They were looking volunteers a few years back and I was just settling into my new place. It started out only a couple of days a week but eventually they hired me full time. How did you end up here?"

JJ sighed, she knew that she would have to answer that question at some point, just never to Jason Gideon "You remember when Tobias Hankle?" she asked, watching as the elder mans eyes darkened.

"Yes."

"The dogs?" she prompted, hoping to explain this in as few words as possible.

Gideon sighed, nodding "You had to shoot them."

"Yeah." JJ said, looking away as the memory bombarded her, grappling with her emotions she added "I've been scared ever since."

"You've just taken a big step." Gideon said "Admitting that there is a fear. Basically what's going to happen here is we're going to go to what we call an introduction room. They're usually used for introducing dogs to perspective owners but for you it's where you're going to meet Duchess."

JJ nodded, her hesitation obvious but she had come this far and she would be damned if she let her fear beat her now. Following Gideon through a short, dog-less, hallway, they arrived outside a door. It was open and lead to a black tiled room that had a table, a few hard backed chairs and a couch "There's water in the corner." Gideon indicated as JJ walked in "And I'll be right back."

JJ nodded, murmuring her thanks as she walked into the room and took a seat on the couch. She had no desire for water, food, or even to meet this dog, but the look on Henry's face when she agreed that they could get a dog, that was her driving force for still being here. Had it not been for him, she would never have made it out of the car.

It was a few long minutes where JJ's nerves increased but as they did her determination reached almost a gritty level. The sound of pawed feet on tile brought JJ out of herself and she unconsciously shifted away from the door, her hand sliding to rest on her gun. Gideon appeared in the doorway, holding a leash in one hand. Attached to the end of the leash was quite possibly the biggest dog JJ had ever seen, it looked like a small horse.

Her eyes widened and her breathing started to get shallower and shallower "JJ" Gideon said gently "Take a few deep breaths, your safe here." JJ nodded, the breaths coming hard to her as she calmed herself "JJ, this is Duchess."

JJ looked over at the dog with a little bit more ease "So much for starting out small." She muttered.

Gideon laughed "I've discovered that starting off small doesn't always work, sometimes it's better to bring in the big guns from the start."

He took a few steps closer and Duchess eyed JJ curiously. She was a Great Dane, black in color with a few streaks of brown and white on her back, but it was her eyes that really captivated JJ. Even from this distance JJ could tell the difference between Duchess and the monsters that she had killed in the barn. They were softer, gentler, more curious about her than vicious.

Gideon silently dropped the leash, watching from the doorway as the gentle giant made her way slowly towards the woman sitting on the couch. JJ was studying the dog carefully, apparently unaware of how close Duchess was getting. It was as Duchess' chest rested on JJ's knees that the woman seemed to realize what was going on.

She looked up at Gideon in a moment of panic, but as Duchess let out a sigh and sat down to rest her head on JJs knees. Instantly the woman was dragged back into the dogs world, reaching out slowly with a trembling hand to rest the pale fingers on the skull of the creature. Duchess didn't move, barely blinked, simply allowing JJ to run her hand down the length of her body.

JJ found herself enjoying the texture of the dogs fur beneath her fingers, the hot breath on her jeans and pure happiness radiating from the dog. She was surprised when Duchess raised a giant paw and rested it on JJs knee. The sight of the paw, just sitting there, the claws curving gently into her jeans, it reminded JJ of the way the moonlight had caught the paws of the dogs that had every intention to kill her.

Gideon watched silently, leaning against the doorway as flashes of SSA Jennifer Jareau appeared in the woman's eyes. The JJ that he had met out in the office was not the JJ he had remembered. But this woman, the woman who had just invited Duchess up on the couch with her, the woman who was stroking the dog and talking quietly to her, this was the woman he remembered.

JJ looked up at Gideon half an hour later, after meeting a few other dogs and getting smothered by Duchess' puppies "Thank you." She said "I couldn't have done it without your help."

Gideon nodded, but he could tell that there was more she wanted to say, so he waited.

"You devastated Spence." She said, her tone dropping slightly "He didn't understand why, for all his smarts." She sighed "it took him a long time to get over your leaving the BAU like that. And now, now you're here, just an hour away from us, from him and you act like we don't exist."

Gideon was taken back by the steel in JJ's gaze "I will never forget what you helped me do here today, but I can't forgive you for what did to Spence."

And with that Gideon watched as Jennifer Jareau gave Duchess on last scratch behind the ears and walked out of the animal shelter. He watched as her car disappeared from sight and as the ruckus of the animal shelter once again reached his ears he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"_Spencer Reid."_

**God. Ew. This was so hard to write because out of all the characters I expected to get Jason Gideon was **_**not **_**one of them. So, with that in mind, this is the final product. **

**R&R **

**Thanks, **

**Logicbomb.32**


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